The 4 things we’ve all learnt from our first day back at work…

Congratulations people, we’ve made! We’ve survived!

The 7.5 hours that you have been dreading since you broke up for Christmas, have finally ended and there have been no tears, no random out burst and most importantly, no casualties. Now is time to sit back, relax and take stock of the life lessons that this difficult period has taught us…

 

1. It doesn’t matter how much time you have off, you will never catch up on sleep.

The phrase “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions” has never been more apt than when it is applied to the baffling phenomenon of sleep deprivation during the Christmas break. Despite having all the ingredients needed for a good amount of shuteye (being tired, having nothing to do and having a bed!), time after time we fail to accomplish the simple task of getting 8 hours sleep.

It’s a like a horrible real life version of groundhog day where Bill Murray wakes up at 7.30am even though he hasn’t set his alarm just because that when his body is accustomed to waking up for work. He then spends the next few hours lying in bed not really doing anything other than scrolling through Facebook/Instagram/Twitter, whilst simultaneously not watching the seasonal day time TV that he has put on in the background. After much dithering he realises that he is already 10 minutes late to go meet his mates and so he gets up, showers and blames his tardiness on “Delayed Trains” and throws himself heartily into the frolics planned for that day. On returning home rather than slipping into bed and into the land of nod, He reaches for his iPad and begins the totally unnecessary ritual of zoning out to endless episodes of Vampire Diaries on Netflix until of course it gets to 3.30am.

Repeat x10 with alcohol on alternate days.

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2. The commute to work in the morning is the most soul destroying part of any day.

If you live in London, you’ll have noticed that something strange happened during the Christmas holidays… You began to enjoy travelling on public transport. I know crazy right. Naysayers will point to the overcrowded, sweat, dirty filled carriages that we have to endure and say it is not possible to enjoy this madness. They would however be wrong.

Those of us hardcore few that stayed in the capital, found out that there is only one of those above elements has any influence on our commuter zen, makes us fill with rage and generally hate everyone. The overcrowding! As soon as all of the non-Londoners have left, things become bearable. Don’t get me wrong, London is still full of people. But for 10 days or so you can actually get on to the first train that rolls into your station at 8.30 in the morning. You can get a seat every other time you travel rather than stand face squashed up against the door and most incredibly, you see the return of the almost extinct beauty that is, personal space!

Fast forward a week and it’s all back like an all too vivid nightmare. The surge of people rushing to opening doors, the stern faces, the elbows… the body odour!

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3. Everybody is happier after a short break

Some people work to live, others live to work. If you’re anything like me you’ll find yourself somewhere in the middle of these folk. Unfortunately we live in a day and age where work absolutely dominates our waking hours and when we manage to break away from it physically, it still weighs heavy on our minds. That’s why the almost two week period during which the office is fully closed is a cerebral wet dream.

Not only are you not at work, but nobody is! There is nothing going wrong in your absence and nothing that you are going to need to catch up on. The perfect opportunity to unwind and switch off. Even the post holiday ‘Sunday Dread’ that arrives on your doorstep having seemingly taken a years worth of steroids and performance enhancing drugs cannot stop the unnatural sunny disposition that seems to accompany every returning face in the office when asked how they’re doing?

Add to this that no matter how bad a day you have first day back, it’s never going to be as bad as you imagined, which makes a nice change from the rest of the year.

 

4. You work with some f***ing awesome people.

The work environment throws together an assortment of personalities and attitudes, which can make for some bizarre couplings. Whether it be the gothy girl that spend every free moment gossiping with the Essex Boy/ Jack the Lad character because they share the same dark sense of humour or the incredibly knowledgeable MD who debates Hip Hop “Now” verses “Then”, with one of the grads. Whoever your work Bessie is, the chances are you have not seen or really spoken to them during the course of the holidays because they are not part of your Real life, but if it was socially acceptable to do, you would have run and jumped into their arms this morning for a loving embrace. Instead we settled for nod, cheeky smile and a “How was you Christmas?”.

Not all of the work crew are the type that you would take home and introduce your mates, but my word they breath life into even the most mundane of days. The gallows humour is back and it’s a joyous day.

james-david--z

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