How To: #Becominganadulttips – 2

The things you never knew you needed to know…

Becoming an adult is a troublesome process. Few people make it out of adulthood alive. Whether you’re scraping twenty-one or hitting forty, there is always another mistake you didn’t know you needed to make as part of your overall growing process. Basically, this is a compilation of things you didn’t know you needed to know. I’ve done the research, the groundwork and a lot of really stupid sh** so that you don’t have to. From paddling pools to pirate costumes, achieving adult status is not always what it seems…

Tip #2 – When you’ve had one too many the granny pants in Marks and Spencer’s are, frankly, hilarious.

You can absolutely, empirically and without a doubt, judge your quality of life on how many times you’ve stood in Marks and Spencer’s and thought, “I’m too drunk for this sh**”.

Profits fall at Marks and Spencer

So far this year, I’ve racked up about five. It’s something about being middle class, British and day-drinking, but I always find myself wandering into M&S (usually in search of the toilets) and being unable to wander back out again. I find myself standing in the maze of fancy sandwiches, tea-towels and mountains upon mountains of socks, unable to find the exit. I start questioning my life choices (which is always a dangerous move especially when day-drinking, because you’re not starting from a good vantage point).

There is, I feel, a delicate balance by which to measure your quality of life at these junctures. Two or three occasions sniggering at the granny pants, dressed in a tutu and an outsized hat, and you, sir, are probably winning. More than five, and it’s time to lay down your novelty inflatable sword of day-drinking awesomeness, and go get a job, or a girlfriend. With five visits so far, I guess I stand on the brink of a life-changing M&S visit, wish me luck, fellow travellers…

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