How To: #BecomingAnAdultTips – 14
XWHY’s Justin Time avails us of the perils of growing into full manhood…whatever that might be…
Becoming an adult is a troublesome process. Few people make it out of adulthood alive. Whether you’re scraping twenty-one or hitting forty, there is always another mistake you didn’t know you needed to make as part of your overall growing process. Basically, this is a compilation of things you didn’t know you needed to know. I’ve done the research, the groundwork and a lot of really stupid sh** so that you don’t have to. From paddling pools to pirate costumes, achieving adult status is not always what it seems…
Tip no. 14 – Always Come Prepared
A large part of becoming an adult, as far as I’m aware, is finding yourself out of depth, under pressure, overwhelmed and generally paddle-less and up a certain creek.
There is no sudden moment of clarity where boy becomes man and suddenly learns to be self-assured and calm in a crisis, and it turns out that, for me certainly, adulthood is just a series of disasters that I can’t palm off to someone else.
One of these occurred recently on my way to a job interview.
In an attempt to look dashing and spiffy, I had treated myself to a new suit jacket that very day and, having not had the opportunity to dribble soup down myself yet, was feeling pretty crisp and well put together.
Striding out of the station and taking a breath of fresh, promising, employment-filled air, it dawned on me that it was getting close to remembrance Sunday, and I bought a poppy to add the final touch to my costume.
Time was speeding on at this point, and I hurried along to my interview whilst attempting to get the darned thing in place, only to realise that the buttonhole of my brand new jacket was still sewn shut. Panic. My entire interview performance was, at this point, hinging on this poppy.
How else will my prospective employer know that I am a conscientious and proper British citizen? I’ll be exiled, I’ll have to leave my friends and my TV and go live in a cave!
At this point, to add some pathos to my already pretty disastrous situation, it started to rain.
I huddled in a doorway like some kind of manic ferret, throwing the full weight of my desperation at this brand new suit jacket that was to be the reason for my relocation to the tundra, and gradually losing faith in my ability to function in the adult world when, thrusting my hand in my shoulder bag, my fingers closed around something so perfect that I have never looked at it in the same way since.
I strode into my interview not long after, drenched in rain, eyes crazed and jacket rumpled, but displaying my poppy proudly for all to see.
Suffice it to say I didn’t get the job, but dangit I got through a tough ordeal, and what’s more useful in the real world, truly?
Well, yes, the job, but I think we can all agree that the moral of this story is that being an adult isn’t about having it all together, it’s about realising that you’re a disaster, and making it work.
Featured Image: Bluethorns 55
Walking the dog: Todd Shaffer
Rain man: Amanda Tipton