How To: #BecomingAnAdultTips – 13
XWHY’s Justin Time avails us of the perils of growing into full manhood…whatever that might be…
Becoming an adult is a troublesome process. Few people make it out of adulthood alive. Whether you’re scraping twenty-one or hitting forty, there is always another mistake you didn’t know you needed to make as part of your overall growing process. Basically, this is a compilation of things you didn’t know you needed to know. I’ve done the research, the groundwork and a lot of really stupid sh** so that you don’t have to. From paddling pools to pirate costumes, achieving adult status is not always what it seems…
Tip no. 13 – Snapchat will make you question ever leaving the house
I have stayed friends with the same people since I was about twelve.
There have been movements, additions and dynamic shifts, but at the core of it, the people I hang out with most regularly are the ones I met at school.
What is odd about doing this, as anyone in a similar situation will probably agree, is that you get to watch the people around you becoming functional (in the loosest sense possible) human beings, whilst never losing sight of their first kiss, the first time they got drunk, or that time they snorted sherbert on the bus.
The other great thing, is that your friendship never loses that quality of nostalgia and youth, and I think you’re more able to access your inner child when around people who were actually there.
This, for the most part, is just good old fun, particularly when you get to the stage where friends start to have their own little sproglets and you can scare them shitless by reminding them how young they were when they were first introduced to Vodka.
There are moments, however, when being in a group that is wholeheartedly in touch with their inner idiots stops being good fun and starts to take on a hue of total and abject terror.
Receiving snapchats of a poo that looks a bit like a penis from someone who recently qualified as a surgeon, for example, makes me never want to go to hospital.
Talking to a lawyer about a recent one-night-stand where they had to climb out of a window in the middle of the night, only to realise they weren’t wearing any underwear, makes me question the legal system.
Listening to an aircraft engineer, when questioned about how planes fly, say “pfffft it’s mainly magic,” has me rocking and sweating like I’m in The Twilight Zone.
What I have learnt, as a burgeoning member of grown up society, is that far from being responsible, accountable and mature beings, adults are five year olds with car keys and disposable income, and we should all be deeply, acutely afraid.
WORDS: Justin Time
Featured Image: Robert Bruce Murray III